Springfield, VA. - A Florida Man reportedly participating in a yearly celebration of gift giving caused some serious consternation this weekend. The pair of cars he sent were so good that the recipient’s mind was literally blown.
A popular diecast (model cars) blog called “Live and Let Diecast,” according to members also known as “the best place on the internet,” celebrates the holiday season every year with a tradition called “Secret $uper.” Much like the well-known Secret Santa, where gifts are exchanged between participants, during Secret $uper diecast car-related packages are sent between members of the blog.
When mr. P. Hiliphilip of Northern Virginia openen his box on Saturday afternoon, he got the shock of his life. Mr. Hiliphilip’s neighbor Rand witnessed the whole thing: “I had just opened the third crispy boy my wife Nance brought me when I saw it happen. Right after he opened the box, Philiphilip’s jaw fell and nearly broke my front steps! Abhorrent things, these model cars. I thought they were kids’ toys! They should be outlawed. OUTLAWED, I tell you! The so-called “King” who sent them should be ashamed of himself.”
Mr. Hiliphilip was unavailable for comment, as he no longer had a brain to form thoughts, or a jaw attached to where his mouth used to be.
This is a developing story and will be updated as more information comes to light.